Saying goodbye hurts but can also bring comfort
When someone we love dies we experience an emotional and physical pain like nothing we’ve ever felt before. It is unique for each of us and can take a long time to hit us. Often, as we cope with the instant practical issues associated with arranging the cremation or funeral, we ‘cope’ and put away our emotions until we feel able to let them out.
My first visit to a family who has lost someone is often the first time they talk about the person who has passed, and the first time they share their grief with others. I have a very privileged job. I am often grateful at this time, for the 30 years of experience I have had coaching and mentoring others that have taught me to listen, to hold space for others and to show strength and empathy in equal measure.
I love what I do. I get to sit with families and hear their stories. They tell me about the person they knew so that I might get a glimpse of them, an idea of what made them laugh, what and who they cared about and what were their proudest moments. I hear from lovers, children and friends with their versions of the person they all knew and often those who knew him best hear these stories for the first time too.
I write the ceremony, the celebration of a life much loved, from those who were touched and inspired, from those lucky enough to be part of the wonder and legacy left behind and often, I read the ceremony in full so that they don’t have to. I will help everyone who wants to read a message to prepare for the day and, of course, step in for them should they feel overwhelmed at the time.
I consider this work the most important work that I do. I consider it an honour to have the trust of a family at such an important time. My fees start at £195 for a local funeral in West Wales. I make no charge for services for children’s services.