Are your choices good for you?

“I said I would do it so I’m doing it” my friend told me as I helped her with the blisters on her feet at the weekend.  She has been training for a 10K run for charity and her feet are a wreck!  She is a determined lady; someone who is proud of making tough choices in life and sticking to them.

Indeed, this approach has got her through some tough times.  Really tough times.  It has served her well as she made the choice to beat Cancer – twice; she made the choice for her autistic son that she had a better way than the system, and home-schooled him.  She is great at taking ownership of every situation with choice and determination.

Sometimes however, even super-woman, or super-man, deserves a break.  Sometimes, accepting that we made a choice that is the wrong one for us, requires even more determination.

“I don’t do quitting!” she told me, when I suggested that this choice might not be the best choice for her.
“I’ve never quit on anything in my life and I’m not going to start now!” She proclaimed, tears of pain and frustration running down her cheeks.

Choices can change; and this does not have to mean “I QUIT!”  Reviewing the choices we make, and asking ourselves “does this serve me?  Is it a good choice for me?” are vital to success.

I got a call from my friend last night and she told me she had made a choice,
“I’ve spoken to the organisers and I’m going to be part of the support crew; I’ll be on my bike following the runners and providing first aid. Good choice don’t you think?”

Like I said, she’s an amazing woman and she embraces choice.  Take a look at how well your choices are serving you and whether it’s time to make some new ones.

Have a great day

Dinah 🙂

Will you choose Fire or Water?

Choices impact every aspect of our communication with others and one of the key areas we can make a choice to change, is in communication that leads to arguments or confrontation.  When a conversation starts to head towards an argument, you can make a choice –  will I fight fire with fire or will I fight fire with water?

It takes at least two people to have an argument.  That means both of you have to choose to create it; both of you have to take part or there will be no argument.  When you choose to make it an argument, you attempt to fight fire with fire.  “I am standing up to them” or “he started it” are just excuses.  You had to engage to make it an argument, you had to make a choice to take a conversation down that route.

So, today, when someone is “looking for an argument” choose to let them look elsewhere.  Make a choice to drown the flames, not fan them.

Dinah 🙂

Choose your mood for the week

As Monday beckons, what mood will you choose for your week ahead?  Will you have a week driven by positivity and promise?  Perhaps a week to be bold and flirtatious or shy and alluring?  How about innovative and perceptive?  They all sound good to me, yet so often the anticipation of Monday morning impacts our moods with less than inspirational promise.

This Sunday choose your mood.  Take a look at your week ahead, (go on, grab your calendar) and focus on the highlights.  What impact will they have on your mood?  Have you got a meeting with a great client or colleague to look forward to?  Perhaps you’ve got time scheduled for social media with people who make you smile or a fabulous work-out session planned.  This can be the mood you choose for your week.  We can make that choice, and we can stick to it.

What mood are you choosing for the week ahead?  I’m going with inspired and enthusiastic.

Dinah 🙂

Saturday Choices

Saturdays are always about choices for me.  Will I relax and recover, physically, from my week, or will I get those “little jobs” done.  You know the ones, the housework and laundry, the windows that haven’t been cleaned in an age, the car that could do with a good wash. What choice will I make, and will I allow myself to enjoy it once I’ve made it?

I spoke with a good friend last Monday and asked how her weekend had been. “I did nothing at all really, just enjoyed the spring weather in the garden and relaxed.  Gorgeous.  I felt so guilty this morning though; I didn’t do a thing & the house is a terrible mess!”  All the enjoyment of allowing herself a weekend off – and a well deserved one I might add – was washed away by mis-placed guilt.

So, this weekend, make a choice.  And once you’ve made it enjoy it.  If you choose to get the jobs done, enjoy the satisfaction and give yourself a pat on the back.  If you choose to relax, enjoy every moment and relish it; then give yourself a pat on the back too.

Whatever choice you make, have a wonder-filled Saturday.

Dinah 🙂

Choice is a habit

Habits are repeated behaviours that have become part of our routine, we do them on auto-pilot, sub-consciously or semi-consciously.  Some of them are positive and add value to our lives and others are destructive or even dangerous.  Regularly making choices that benefit us can also become a habit  – with a little practice.

Some years ago, I was struggling to accept compliments, and would usually receive them with a response along the lines of “what this old thing – it makes my bum look huge!” or “Really? I thought I could have done that job much better.”  It had become a habit to dismiss compliments.  What I had not appreciated was it was a choice.  I could choose to accept a compliment with grace – whether or not I believed it.  I could choose to take it at face value and accept it came with good intentions and sincerity.

By making this choice, I learned a new habit.  It was tricky at first; I bit my lip many times before I replied, consiously “thank you.”   Watching the positive results this created reinforced that I had made the right choice and I now enjoy my new habit – in fact I’m addicted!

What habit will you choose to start today?

My first choice is usually the right choice

You know that feeling you get about someone or something – that gut feeling that tells you “this feels right” or, on occasion “this feels wrong”; that’s your “choice mechanism”.  And more often than not, I find mine serves me well.  The trick, of course, is to learn to listen to what it’s telling us!

Inner fears and self-doubt often get in the way of that choice-mechanism.  They work hard to sabotage your attempts to connect with it and make progress.  They are threatened by the very thought of making a choice – because that could lead to …CHANGE.

We can make a choice about that voice; that repeated attempt to de-rail our own progress.  It has to be a conscious choice initially – an acknowledgment that “there I go again, on self-destruct”.  Say it to yourself – out-loud if the moment allows – when you hear that little voice saying “you can’t” “It won’t work” “yeah right!” let the voice know you mean business.  Shout right back at it “I am choosing not to listen to that. I am leaving self-destruct behind today!”

Feel silly?  Slightly uncomfortable with the idea?  GREAT!  Make that choice and go for it, you’ll feel great when you’re trusting that your first choice is usually the right choice!

Have a great day

Dinah 🙂