“There’s nothing like a good cry!” I’ve often said this; to friends, my fabulous daughter, to clients. It’s true. A good cry releases our body’s natural endorphins and actually lifts our mood. How often though, have you stopped yourself from crying, or found yourself apologising for it? The fact is that it’s not just okay to cry – it’s great to cry!
When we hold back the tears we are burying emotions that deserve to be released, shared, discussed. Often we feel we don’t deserve to sit down and have a good cry, that if we do we’re being a burden or weak. I would argue it takes strength to cry, to be the person saying “this is tough and I don’t have all the answers”.
If you are someone who is there for others, who others describe as strong, it can feel like you’re letting them down if you let them see how troubled you are by something. I’ve found that when I’m brave enough to show that vulnerable side, to say “today it’s all proving a bit much” people around me find it easier to connect with me. Someone said to me recently, after listening to me have a good cry and holding my hand (and yes, providing chocolate cake and a hug) that she felt so lucky to be able to support me for a change; we went through her breast cancer together last year and I was there with the hug and the carrot cake for her. It felt good to let her support me.
And so often, a good cry is followed by clarity. By letting go of those emotions, long suppressed, we give ourselves permission to see things in a new way, to say “okay, I’m ready, let’s start that again!”
It takes very little to convince me to spend a day with Hannah watching “weepy movies”; it always leads to talking, letting go of things, sharing giggles and chocolate, of course. Which reminds me, it’s been too long – where’s my diary….
Dinah x
Completely agree, once I have actually allowed myself to bawl at, well, usually that macmillan advert at the moment and also other things I feel I shouldn’t I actually feel so much better.
I also believe you are right about feeling closer to someone once they have opened up and said “OK, now I need some help”, let us care for you for a change and also prove to us that it is ok to share emotions like fear or being upset.
PS my diary is out!
Yes it IS ok, and good to cry! It is not s sign of weakness, just a sign we have been strong for too long perhaps. Crying with a friend is better than crying alone, but if there isn’t anyone there I hug my teddy!! Now, pass that chocolate, and here’s the tissue box. Thank you for sharing an very important message! Xxx